Woah. This week has been so weird. Everyday has turned out to be so different than I expected. Another way to say that would be: I cannot seem to get anything done! All week, I have been battling my own procrastination monsters, along with what seems like a constant string of interruptions (some created by me and some by others). The result is a somewhat dissatisfied feeling of, “Where did all my time goooooo?”
I think I’m starting to feel the time crunch that creeps into my life every time I have a big trip on the horizon. I’m leaving for Bali in three weeks and suddenly it feels like I’m leaving tomorrow. Ya know this feeling? I’m also juggling so many different projects right now, it’s enough to make my head spin. A problem of abundance really. But honestly…
All I really want to do is PAINT.
I’ve been itching to get in my studio all week, but with said procrastinations/distractions running the show, it’s taken me until today (Thur!) to finally squeeze in a couple hours of painting time. And, guess what? When my house was finally clean(ish), my emails were (mostly) taken care of, my stomach was full, my phone stopped beeping at me for a few minutes and I could finally step in front of my canvas…
I felt totally uninspired.
Like no inspiration…at all. Every brush mark felt forced and everything I did made my paintings look worse. So, what do I do in these moments? I literally have to force myself to take my own damn advice: Light a candle, change the music, move my body, try a new color, turn my canvas upside down, paint with my non-dominant hand—whatever it takes to light that elusive spark of inspiration, knowing full well that it still might refuse to show up.
Thankfully…it decided to show up today. I’m not really sure what shifted, but after an hour (at least) of pure struggle, I found myself suddenly in the zone—the one where everything feels easy and I’m just kinda of following my brush around like something else is in control. I think it might have had something to do with the color purple or black diamond stamps or ??? Who knows. I try not to question this kind of magic. Instead, I just say my THANK YOUS and carry on.
Here’s a glimpse of what flowed through today when I finally let go and got out of my own way…
I’m quite curious to see where these will all go, but at the same time, I’m awfully glad I don’t know—that would just ruin the surprise 🙂
xo flora
