You asked for crush details, so I’m going to be brave and spill the beans…at least a few beans for now.
If you have been following along in my world at all, you have probably noticed that I never, like ever, talk about my romantic life. In fact, up until this lil’ blog experiment, I’ve talked very little about my personal life off the canvas, AT ALL. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is that I have a story about keeping things private online which is really interesting because I’m really quite the open book in real life. The other reason is that I’m totally scared I might jinx a good thing.
You see, I had an experience last summer where I fell really hard for someone I met at Burning Man. After one magical week with this person, I was sure he was “the one”. I proceeded to gush to my family and friends (and even to a group of workshop participants) about this new love in my life only to have the whole thing go terribly south on our second meeting—in Italy. Yep, super romantic trip gone horribly wrong.
So, with my tail between my legs and a whole lot of lessons learned, I re-entered the land of being single once again. I was pretty content there after the Burning Man
debacle “learning opportunity” but after about six months of not meeting anyone, I decided to join an online dating site. Yes, you read that right. This felt like a seriously brave move for me, but with the rest of my life online, it also seemed like a really reasonable way to meet someone.
After pouring my heart into my online dating profile (it was like a part time job for a minute there), I went on a total of about 15 first dates with only a few of them leading to second dates. Soon, I started to feel…tired. (I kept joking to my friends that my next book would be called, Brave Intuitive Dating). Truth is, I found the process to be quite interesting and entertaining in a social experiment kind of way, but it was also completely exhausting. So exhausting that I was ready to throw in the towel but not before I went on one last date! As luck, or the stars, or my manifestation powers or ____, would have it, this last date was really easy, fun and romantic. Kismet!
It’s been six weeks now and I still feel giddy every time I’m about to see….let’s call him “my crush.” Our time together feels like good medicine for me—grounded, easy, nurturing and sweet while still being exciting, passionate and new—a winning combo for sure. I obviously have no idea where this is going, but it sure is a great way to practice being in the moment and not get ahead of myself. Gotta love dating for that opportunity.
So there, I said it and I’m going to trust I didn’t jinx it 🙂 I could definitely go on and on about what it’s like to date at age 38, the vulnerabilities in my heart and how stepping into something new always rattles me to the core in certain ways, but I think I’m going to stop with this one baby step.
“Blogging about Dating 101”
Until tomorrow…wishing you well.